My Approach

Most of the time, when misunderstandings and hurt occur, you manage to figure things out.

What’s different this time?

A few factors may be at play. Rather than trust that there’s goodwill, one or both sides may have developed a negative perception about the other side (a so-called enemy image). And instead of being open to hearing the other side’s perspective, each side may also try to defend themselves from blame. Feelings are hurt. Fighting or silence ensues.

So many people find themselves stuck here.

There is another way forward.

Especially if, underneath it all, you wish for peace, connection, and cooperation.

This is where I come in.  

Both parties’ relationship to the conflict and to each other will dramatically shift when each has been heard and understood by the other side. My facilitation approach is to support each side in being able to fully express themselves and bring their needs to light and to hear and understand the other side as well.

I help slow things down, so people can shift out of the ping-pong of blame, trading opinions, or whatever their communication pattern has been, including if there’s been silence.

With empathy, open ears, and a warm, grounded presence, I support parties in moving towards deep understanding.

There are many benefits to my approach: 

First, deep understanding allows for the possibility of connection, because the parties can see the humanity in each other again.

Second, deep understanding is also a bridge to creative, collaborative problem solving where solutions arise with relative ease. Because solutions are rooted in the parties’ understanding of each other’s needs and are designed by them, the agreements that emerge are more durable. People can see how abiding by the agreements serves their needs, which makes them more likely to cooperate over the long term. 

Third, practically speaking, mediation is far less costly than litigation, and people can choose to mediate without lawyers.

Lastly, this process is a way out of emotional turmoil and all its negative consequences. People can reclaim their time and energy and redirect it towards living life with greater ease, meaning, and enjoyment. They may even pick up some techniques on how to communicate more effectively going forward.